I'm finding it easier and easier to get along in the world.
The other day on the second of my two days off, I spent the day doing festival applications and hanging out in park with some friends. Tuesday I went back to work, a four day week this week because the TV show "You've got to eat here" is shooting at a closed Nuba today, Friday, (Nuba is the Lebanese restaurant in Kitsilano that was the first one from Craigslist that I applied to a couple of weeks ago). Saturday is going to be fun . . . They shoot all the kitchen stuff one day in a closed restaurant and then a second day in an open restaurant. Saturday is going to be really busy.
www.nuba.ca
I really like it there and it likes me. After only a few weeks I feel welcomed and comfortable in this new workplace. I think the fact that I'm not some punk dude with a chip on his shoulder anymore helps a lot. When I worked in restaurants before I was arrogant and self-entitled and really didn't do as much as I could have for the people I worked for. I was lazy and it was always a struggle.
Money has always been fleeting with me, it comes and goes with great fluidity and in that old world it was hard to make it work. I was always borrowing money to get to payday, living just beyond my means. I was generally happy but my life was full of the stress of failure. I was literally two paychecks away from being homeless all the time.
I think the stress of that was making me old too. I had mostly resigned myself to a life of servitude. I spent each work day longing for the end of the day so I could relax and rest. I spent the endless week just waiting for the weekend when I could recreate and play and I spent the work-year saving and scrimping to be able to maybe take a holiday at the end, more often not. And when I did get to the promised land and could rest/play/vacation I would spend all that time running around like an idiot. So much so that it was a rest to be able to back to work. My life was one where I was never "in" a state of complete bliss, always chasing it.
That all started to change one day in October of 2005 when my daughter Pharoah asked if we could go out and audition for a production of the musical "Oliver" at Kersley Music Theatre (KMT), just south of Quesnel. We went, we were both cast, I got to play Mr. Bumble again and KMT saved my life. I readily admit that at that point in my life, after the dissolution of my marriage, I was in a pit of despair. I was an unhappy, empty shell of a man and sinking fast.
Kersley Musical Theatre taught me, among many things, that when you say YES, things happen, when you say NO, things specifically stop. I decided I wanted things to happen and started saying YES! It changed my life, it opened me up to the abundance of this place and it set me on a path that served me, instead of killing me.
Back to now . . . I'm camping in my van, which is really comfortable, in my dear friend Josh's driveway on East 12th near Fraser. I throw in a little money and have access to the kitchen, bathroom and internet. Josh has been a kind and gracious host. On December 15 I'll move into a sublet for $425 a month (all in), where there are two friends living already. My job pays enough to cover that and more. I'm going to spend the winter saving a little money, using some to pay back a few people I owe and going out to music as much as I can.
Work has even been really good about giving me time off over the winter to attend a couple of big out-of-town gigs I have in the works.
Life is good . . . .
The irony is that if I looked at where I am now from where I was then I would probably think I was a failure . . . living in a van in someone's driveway?? . . .
I'm grateful for the shift that occurred in me that allows this to work.
Live in Love <3
Doug
Friday, November 21, 2014
Sunday, September 28, 2014
What are you waiting for? An invitation? I sent you one!
There is a world of beautiful music and community happening at the other end of your mouse and you are missing it because you are too busy running around like a chicken with your head cut off.
There, I said it . . . .
<RANT>
<IMHO>
In this life we are taught many things by many different people. We are taught that in order to be a valid, contributing member of society we must put our dreams aside in favour of a job that will provide all the things we are told we need . . . a house, a car, etc . . Things like the arts always end up as either hobbies or maybe, if you're lucky, a plan B that you come back to once you are established.
We are taught that there is a radio station that will play all the music that we love, and a little bit of other stuff and will do so for as long as we continue to love that music. What they don't tell us is that they will use our love of that music to target us with things that other people want to sell us. They will, and do, calculate how much they earn and modify the music to better address the mood of their target market at any given time. Radio has been corrupt since the beginning. Record executives have been paying to get artists on the radio for years.
The illusion is that it's "Your Favourite Music . . . All Day Every Day". The reality is that they play the music that you strongly identify with and keep playing it so you will keep listening and, presumably buy the things they want to sell you. Are you really that gullible??
In that world, there is little room for new music, and the music that does find its way in is mostly derivative carbon copies that just sounds the same as the music that is being played all the time anyway.
So my question is: Where does new music come in?
The music industry used to control that for the most part. They would support and release music that they thought people might like, taking a gamble on it. If the music sold then all was good, if it didn't sell it quickly vanished back into obscurity never to be seen again. It was a system controlled by commerce more than the actual value of the music and it's responsible for the continuation of the derivatives I think. When the availability of new music is controlled by what's popular there is not much room for music that lives outside the boxes that genre describes.
It's a common practice in our culture, when presented with a new artist by someone, to ask "What's it like?". We generally seem to be unable to assess our interest in new music on the merits of the music itself. Instead use descriptive genre terms like "Folk", or "Punk", or "Rock" to describe it and then decide, right then and there whether we are going to like it or not.
Why can't we listen to the music with an open mind, figure out how it makes us feel, and then decide if we like it or not based on our own opinion rather than a vague, preconceived notion about what kind of music it is?
There is an extreme amount of music being created by amazing artists all over the world.
I can only speak for myself but I can tell you that my music fills my being with love and joy. I have truly found the thing I was meant to do and I am very happy and excited to be doing it. My love for it is apparent when I perform, if you have seen me live you will know exactly what I'm talking about. I see the positive effect my live performances has on people. After every time I play people come to me and tell me about it. They talk about being inspired and feeling really great and happy and that makes it all worth while.
What doesn't seem to be working is the support I receive. I am working really hard at making this my life and I'm in for the long haul, make no mistake about that.
I spend hours working on bookings, reaching out to places that feature music and imploring them to take a chance and have me in. I know that once I get there I can win-over pretty much any audience. Some have taken a chance but many are reluctant to bring in something that is indescribable, something out of the ordinary, something new.
I've been doing a lot of work trying to cultivate a following in Vancouver. I played the open mic at the Cafe deux Soleils last Thursday and stopped every conversation in the room when I sang and spoke (no easy feat in the busy, noisy Drive area). I did two songs and the audience erupted in wild applause after each song. A bunch of people came up to me afterwards and thanked me and said how much they loved it and it was really great. But none of them bought a CD. I gave a few stickers away in hopes that people might go and download some music and maybe donate something to my gas fund but in the end I left poorer than when I arrived.
Add to that what happened last night at the beautiful house concert I helped organize and promote just off the drive. The music was really great, the people who were there enjoyed it a great deal. The challenge was that there was a real lack of paying patrons. In the end both my friend and I (the two touring musicians on the bill), made a little money for our gas tanks and food but there were a lot of empty seats in the house.
I don't mean to piss and moan, I think know all the reasons why this happens . . . Everyone has many demands on their time and disposable income, I got called away, I didn't feel up to it, not everyone likes it enough to buy it, I left my wallet at home, I don't listen to CDs, etc . . . I completely understand that we all have free will and accepting an invitation does not constitute a binding agreement. And I don't think any less of you for not coming, I'm talking about a larger social change that seems to be needed here.
I wonder if you really know the effect that your lack of financial support has on an emerging touring artist (I'm talking about more than me now). When you don't attend, don't buy, don't donate to talented musical acts that you like you put that person/act into jeopardy of not being able to continue.
The reality of life as an unorthodox musician, as I experience it, is that there are very few guarantees when playing, and by that I mean that the places that host music largely DO NOT offer artists a set fee for their performance. Instead they often go with a pass-the-hat arrangement which puts the artist in the position of having to essentially beg the audience for their money. We also have to make sure we talk about having CDs at least a few times in hopes that people will hear it and actually buy them. It's an uphill job that seems to take a long time to get easier.
I'm not asking you for your pity, I'm asking you for your help.
Music is an amazing and miraculous force that has the ability to heal everything, if we can just let go of the preconceptions about what it is and allow it to have a place in our lives. Music is of us, we are vibration and music is just vibration.
If you don't like my music I can respect that, I realize it's not for everyone. But if you do like my music and you like what I'm doing then I ask you to show it and help me to continue by coming to a show, buying a cd, or making a contribution to my gas fund. Your support will have a direct impact on my ability to keep going.
I have two albums for download at: https://dougkoyama.bandcamp.com/music
If you want to donate you can do so through the Paypal link on the front page of my web site at: http://www.koyama.bc.ca
Also, check my Tour Page and see if I'm coming to your town, then come to the show.
If you want to see me perform in your town ask your local, fave place if they have heard of me and would they like to have me in. Or just send me the info and I will get in touch with them. Email: DougKoyama@gmail.com or phone 250-255-6562
And share this blog . . . I'm living my life as Out Loud as I know how in an attempt to connect with you, and as many others. Your help is needed and appreciated more than words can say.
And please tell your friends about me . . . The more people who know the easier it will become to make it go. I know I can count on you.
</IMHO>
</RANT>
Thank you, with love and gratitude.
Doug
There, I said it . . . .
<RANT>
<IMHO>
In this life we are taught many things by many different people. We are taught that in order to be a valid, contributing member of society we must put our dreams aside in favour of a job that will provide all the things we are told we need . . . a house, a car, etc . . Things like the arts always end up as either hobbies or maybe, if you're lucky, a plan B that you come back to once you are established.
We are taught that there is a radio station that will play all the music that we love, and a little bit of other stuff and will do so for as long as we continue to love that music. What they don't tell us is that they will use our love of that music to target us with things that other people want to sell us. They will, and do, calculate how much they earn and modify the music to better address the mood of their target market at any given time. Radio has been corrupt since the beginning. Record executives have been paying to get artists on the radio for years.
The illusion is that it's "Your Favourite Music . . . All Day Every Day". The reality is that they play the music that you strongly identify with and keep playing it so you will keep listening and, presumably buy the things they want to sell you. Are you really that gullible??
In that world, there is little room for new music, and the music that does find its way in is mostly derivative carbon copies that just sounds the same as the music that is being played all the time anyway.
So my question is: Where does new music come in?
The music industry used to control that for the most part. They would support and release music that they thought people might like, taking a gamble on it. If the music sold then all was good, if it didn't sell it quickly vanished back into obscurity never to be seen again. It was a system controlled by commerce more than the actual value of the music and it's responsible for the continuation of the derivatives I think. When the availability of new music is controlled by what's popular there is not much room for music that lives outside the boxes that genre describes.
It's a common practice in our culture, when presented with a new artist by someone, to ask "What's it like?". We generally seem to be unable to assess our interest in new music on the merits of the music itself. Instead use descriptive genre terms like "Folk", or "Punk", or "Rock" to describe it and then decide, right then and there whether we are going to like it or not.
Why can't we listen to the music with an open mind, figure out how it makes us feel, and then decide if we like it or not based on our own opinion rather than a vague, preconceived notion about what kind of music it is?
There is an extreme amount of music being created by amazing artists all over the world.
I can only speak for myself but I can tell you that my music fills my being with love and joy. I have truly found the thing I was meant to do and I am very happy and excited to be doing it. My love for it is apparent when I perform, if you have seen me live you will know exactly what I'm talking about. I see the positive effect my live performances has on people. After every time I play people come to me and tell me about it. They talk about being inspired and feeling really great and happy and that makes it all worth while.
What doesn't seem to be working is the support I receive. I am working really hard at making this my life and I'm in for the long haul, make no mistake about that.
I spend hours working on bookings, reaching out to places that feature music and imploring them to take a chance and have me in. I know that once I get there I can win-over pretty much any audience. Some have taken a chance but many are reluctant to bring in something that is indescribable, something out of the ordinary, something new.
I've been doing a lot of work trying to cultivate a following in Vancouver. I played the open mic at the Cafe deux Soleils last Thursday and stopped every conversation in the room when I sang and spoke (no easy feat in the busy, noisy Drive area). I did two songs and the audience erupted in wild applause after each song. A bunch of people came up to me afterwards and thanked me and said how much they loved it and it was really great. But none of them bought a CD. I gave a few stickers away in hopes that people might go and download some music and maybe donate something to my gas fund but in the end I left poorer than when I arrived.
Add to that what happened last night at the beautiful house concert I helped organize and promote just off the drive. The music was really great, the people who were there enjoyed it a great deal. The challenge was that there was a real lack of paying patrons. In the end both my friend and I (the two touring musicians on the bill), made a little money for our gas tanks and food but there were a lot of empty seats in the house.
I don't mean to piss and moan, I think know all the reasons why this happens . . . Everyone has many demands on their time and disposable income, I got called away, I didn't feel up to it, not everyone likes it enough to buy it, I left my wallet at home, I don't listen to CDs, etc . . . I completely understand that we all have free will and accepting an invitation does not constitute a binding agreement. And I don't think any less of you for not coming, I'm talking about a larger social change that seems to be needed here.
I wonder if you really know the effect that your lack of financial support has on an emerging touring artist (I'm talking about more than me now). When you don't attend, don't buy, don't donate to talented musical acts that you like you put that person/act into jeopardy of not being able to continue.
The reality of life as an unorthodox musician, as I experience it, is that there are very few guarantees when playing, and by that I mean that the places that host music largely DO NOT offer artists a set fee for their performance. Instead they often go with a pass-the-hat arrangement which puts the artist in the position of having to essentially beg the audience for their money. We also have to make sure we talk about having CDs at least a few times in hopes that people will hear it and actually buy them. It's an uphill job that seems to take a long time to get easier.
I'm not asking you for your pity, I'm asking you for your help.
Music is an amazing and miraculous force that has the ability to heal everything, if we can just let go of the preconceptions about what it is and allow it to have a place in our lives. Music is of us, we are vibration and music is just vibration.
If you don't like my music I can respect that, I realize it's not for everyone. But if you do like my music and you like what I'm doing then I ask you to show it and help me to continue by coming to a show, buying a cd, or making a contribution to my gas fund. Your support will have a direct impact on my ability to keep going.
I have two albums for download at: https://dougkoyama.bandcamp.com/music
If you want to donate you can do so through the Paypal link on the front page of my web site at: http://www.koyama.bc.ca
Also, check my Tour Page and see if I'm coming to your town, then come to the show.
If you want to see me perform in your town ask your local, fave place if they have heard of me and would they like to have me in. Or just send me the info and I will get in touch with them. Email: DougKoyama@gmail.com or phone 250-255-6562
And share this blog . . . I'm living my life as Out Loud as I know how in an attempt to connect with you, and as many others. Your help is needed and appreciated more than words can say.
And please tell your friends about me . . . The more people who know the easier it will become to make it go. I know I can count on you.
</IMHO>
</RANT>
Thank you, with love and gratitude.
Doug
Sunday, September 21, 2014
What is music?
Have you really thought about the role of music in your life? I have some very strong ideas about music as it relates to this existence. I believe that music in this construct is damaged and broken and it's our job to try to help fix it, and everything is at stake.
The people who own this place (and let's face it, the corporations own this place), would have us believe that music is one of two things: 1, it is a product that is bought and sold; and 2, it is a tool that is used to sell other products. But I think that music is much, much more than that.
Since the beginning of time music has been the way that we celebrate, the way we commiserate, and the way we pass the time of day in the long, cold winter when the rain or snow falls endlessly. In short music is about community, not the community of false commerce that would see everyone pay for every bit of music that they own but rather the real community that existed before that and will exist long after it is gone.
When you look at the human form at a microscopic level we find two things. Space and vibration . . . The space that comprises the vast majority of every cell of our being almost renders us non-existent anyway but the vibration is the important thing. We are, at our very essence, pure vibration. And music is just vibration. Music is of us! . . . . But we have, in western society, forgotten that and assume that music is made by other people, elsewhere and that has been done, I believe, so someone can sell it to us and make a profit.
We push music and creativity out of our children at a systemic level. The education system in our culture is not about individuality, it's about conformity. I worked as a school photographer for a couple of years and as much as there were lots of inspired young people in the schools I would say that the highest concentration of truly creative people were in the remedial school. Many of them seem to have found themselves there because they had a low tolerance for the crap that was being set upon them and they spoke out.
And then there's the well-intending relative who, upon hearing a child sing will cover his/her ears and proclaim "Oh my gosh, what is that wailing sound?". While this might seem like an innocent thing, and likely comes without malice, it is pure poison to a little child who just wants to sing. Suddenly they start thinking that they can't sing and **POOF**, there goes one form of expression.
My parents tell of a time when music was a part of many households. My maternal grandmother used to play Hawaiian guitar at house parties. There is actually an old recording of her playing while my mom and her sister sang. By the time I was exposed to house parties that had been replaced by records. My grandmother never played the guitar for us, I didn't even know she played until long after her death.
They also have stories about dances that used to happen every weekend in the many halls around my home town. As my mother tells it most of the halls had sprung floors (it made the dancing more fun when the whole floor bounced up and down under your feet), and featured live music from bands that mostly lived in the area. The would go out and dance the night away most weekends and so would many of their friends. The 80s put a stop to that, the music was canned and the DJ was the new celebrity spinning the music that the radio played, the music we were being taught to like. And the guitars sat, languishing and forgotten in closets everywhere.
We were taught that community was based on what kind of car you drive (This is Ford Country), and what kind of music you listened too . . . Pop, punk, metal, rap, world music . . . they're all just arbitrary categories that are there so YOU can be marketed to. Who remembers going to the record store and bypassing all of the other genre labels because "that's not the type of music I listen to"? Do you think that the music you overlooked is any less valid as an art form than the music you did listen to?
But wait, there is hope.
In BC, and other places, there are amazing music festivals that are literally rising up out of the ground. They are run by people, most often musicians who want a place to play, and they are beautiful expressions of real community. Community that is based in kindness, gratitude and compassion.
The music is only part of these growing events, they also feature art in many other forms. Painting, pottery, textiles, spoken word, live theatre and film all have a home here and so do you, if you want it.
Do yourself a favour next summer, or in the winter too (there are many festivals year-round). Get yourself to a small, local music festival. They would love to have you, but only if you want to leave your preconceptions at home and plan to have a fun time.
You will find the most comprehensive listing of festivals in western Canada at:
http://www.bcmusicianmag.com/2014-festival-guide/
Live in Love <3
Doug
.
The people who own this place (and let's face it, the corporations own this place), would have us believe that music is one of two things: 1, it is a product that is bought and sold; and 2, it is a tool that is used to sell other products. But I think that music is much, much more than that.
Since the beginning of time music has been the way that we celebrate, the way we commiserate, and the way we pass the time of day in the long, cold winter when the rain or snow falls endlessly. In short music is about community, not the community of false commerce that would see everyone pay for every bit of music that they own but rather the real community that existed before that and will exist long after it is gone.
When you look at the human form at a microscopic level we find two things. Space and vibration . . . The space that comprises the vast majority of every cell of our being almost renders us non-existent anyway but the vibration is the important thing. We are, at our very essence, pure vibration. And music is just vibration. Music is of us! . . . . But we have, in western society, forgotten that and assume that music is made by other people, elsewhere and that has been done, I believe, so someone can sell it to us and make a profit.
We push music and creativity out of our children at a systemic level. The education system in our culture is not about individuality, it's about conformity. I worked as a school photographer for a couple of years and as much as there were lots of inspired young people in the schools I would say that the highest concentration of truly creative people were in the remedial school. Many of them seem to have found themselves there because they had a low tolerance for the crap that was being set upon them and they spoke out.
And then there's the well-intending relative who, upon hearing a child sing will cover his/her ears and proclaim "Oh my gosh, what is that wailing sound?". While this might seem like an innocent thing, and likely comes without malice, it is pure poison to a little child who just wants to sing. Suddenly they start thinking that they can't sing and **POOF**, there goes one form of expression.
My parents tell of a time when music was a part of many households. My maternal grandmother used to play Hawaiian guitar at house parties. There is actually an old recording of her playing while my mom and her sister sang. By the time I was exposed to house parties that had been replaced by records. My grandmother never played the guitar for us, I didn't even know she played until long after her death.
They also have stories about dances that used to happen every weekend in the many halls around my home town. As my mother tells it most of the halls had sprung floors (it made the dancing more fun when the whole floor bounced up and down under your feet), and featured live music from bands that mostly lived in the area. The would go out and dance the night away most weekends and so would many of their friends. The 80s put a stop to that, the music was canned and the DJ was the new celebrity spinning the music that the radio played, the music we were being taught to like. And the guitars sat, languishing and forgotten in closets everywhere.
We were taught that community was based on what kind of car you drive (This is Ford Country), and what kind of music you listened too . . . Pop, punk, metal, rap, world music . . . they're all just arbitrary categories that are there so YOU can be marketed to. Who remembers going to the record store and bypassing all of the other genre labels because "that's not the type of music I listen to"? Do you think that the music you overlooked is any less valid as an art form than the music you did listen to?
But wait, there is hope.
In BC, and other places, there are amazing music festivals that are literally rising up out of the ground. They are run by people, most often musicians who want a place to play, and they are beautiful expressions of real community. Community that is based in kindness, gratitude and compassion.
The music is only part of these growing events, they also feature art in many other forms. Painting, pottery, textiles, spoken word, live theatre and film all have a home here and so do you, if you want it.
Do yourself a favour next summer, or in the winter too (there are many festivals year-round). Get yourself to a small, local music festival. They would love to have you, but only if you want to leave your preconceptions at home and plan to have a fun time.
You will find the most comprehensive listing of festivals in western Canada at:
http://www.bcmusicianmag.com/2014-festival-guide/
Live in Love <3
Doug
.
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
I had a shit day yesterday
Yesterday I was reminded of that Limp Bizkit song:
"It's just one of those days
When you don't wanna wake up
Everything is fucked
Everybody sucks
You really don't know why
But you want to justify
Ripping someone's head off"
Making a life in music is an ongoing challenge. I know I'm not alone in that but yesterday it sure seemed that way. And it doesn't even make any sense. I'm here in Vernon staying in the one and only Barefoot Caravan (thanks to the kindness of BC Queen Angela Roy), I have food to eat and a soft place to lay down (one that doesn't require me moving everything in my van to do so), and I have a little money in my pocket, and more coming when I play a show here on Thursday night (with thanks to Standup Steve for setting that up).
"It's just one of those days
When you don't wanna wake up
Everything is fucked
Everybody sucks
You really don't know why
But you want to justify
Ripping someone's head off"
Making a life in music is an ongoing challenge. I know I'm not alone in that but yesterday it sure seemed that way. And it doesn't even make any sense. I'm here in Vernon staying in the one and only Barefoot Caravan (thanks to the kindness of BC Queen Angela Roy), I have food to eat and a soft place to lay down (one that doesn't require me moving everything in my van to do so), and I have a little money in my pocket, and more coming when I play a show here on Thursday night (with thanks to Standup Steve for setting that up).
But as the song goes . . . I just felt like ripping someone's head off. Why??
I sometimes get frustrated with the ongoing challenge of getting people to come out to shows. Take last Saturday night as an example. Standup Steve put together an amazing show at The Warehouse in Kelowna. Our friends Red Haven opened, then the awe-inspiring Leila Neverland played a set that seemed to naturally just fall out of her. Following that Okanagan powerhouse Crowd The Joanna absolutely rocked the joint before the always captivating Blackberry Wood closed the night. At the end the audience (or what little audience was there), was left chanting "ten more songs, ten more songs". All-in-all it was a really great night of top-notch performances by professional musicians who put their heart and soul into it.
Everyone that was there had a great time, including the owners of the venue, but in the end the promoter was left having to decide how little each performer was going to get from the take at the door. After all was said and done he ended up in the hole. WHY?
This is a thing that I deal with all the time, I'm sure many people do. It's like pulling teeth to get people to come out to shows. You can go and put a zillion posters out, something that is very challenging when you are traveling and are not actually in the town you're playing next. You can hammer social media to the point that people start asking you to stop posting about your show and you can email, call and talk to every person you know who lives there, or has friends who live there and the end result is often the same. Empty chairs. Why?
I sometimes get frustrated with the ongoing challenge of getting people to come out to shows. Take last Saturday night as an example. Standup Steve put together an amazing show at The Warehouse in Kelowna. Our friends Red Haven opened, then the awe-inspiring Leila Neverland played a set that seemed to naturally just fall out of her. Following that Okanagan powerhouse Crowd The Joanna absolutely rocked the joint before the always captivating Blackberry Wood closed the night. At the end the audience (or what little audience was there), was left chanting "ten more songs, ten more songs". All-in-all it was a really great night of top-notch performances by professional musicians who put their heart and soul into it.
Everyone that was there had a great time, including the owners of the venue, but in the end the promoter was left having to decide how little each performer was going to get from the take at the door. After all was said and done he ended up in the hole. WHY?
This is a thing that I deal with all the time, I'm sure many people do. It's like pulling teeth to get people to come out to shows. You can go and put a zillion posters out, something that is very challenging when you are traveling and are not actually in the town you're playing next. You can hammer social media to the point that people start asking you to stop posting about your show and you can email, call and talk to every person you know who lives there, or has friends who live there and the end result is often the same. Empty chairs. Why?
I think it's partly because of the busy life that everyone lives. Many people rush around, going from one activity to the next never taking a moment to stop and smell the roses. We see things on social media but we don't really pay attention to what's going on. We listen to things, not with an intention to listen and hear what's being said but rather to formulate our response to what's being said. We don't (generally), as a culture spend a lot of time enjoying the moment we're in.
That may be the result of our cultural predisposition to want to get to a goal. It's not that I think having goals is bad, don't get me wrong. We endure our work day so we can get to the end of the day and finally relax. We endure our work week so we can get to the weekend and relax. We endure our work year so we can get to the magical holiday time and go run around like crazy people taking in as much as we can (exceptions notwithstanding). We endure our work career so we can get to retirement and be able to lay back and enjoy the fruits of our labours but how many people get to the end, the weekend, holiday, retirement, and find out that all they want to do is go back to work?
I think the whole thing does nothing more than make us busy and filled with discontent. Is it a big surprise that suicide is such a huge thing? This system does little more, I believe, than keep us in a state of constantly reaching for the happiness that we have been convinced we have to work hard for. I think it's a lie and that all it does is keep us in a state or lack, inadequacy and longing . . . Not a recipe for success.
Happiness is not an external condition, it's an internal one. Happiness is a choice and we can choose it at any time. Happiness is the joy of a child laughing at nothing at all. Happiness is watching that child achieve something they set out to do and worked hard to get to. Happiness is sitting on a bench beside a babbling stream thinking about nothing more than the sun shining on your head. Happiness is sitting in a room with friends while someone performs music that they love . . . You might not "get" the music but if you pay close attention to the person, you will see that they love it and love presenting it to you.
Happiness is not an external condition, it's an internal one. Happiness is a choice and we can choose it at any time. Happiness is the joy of a child laughing at nothing at all. Happiness is watching that child achieve something they set out to do and worked hard to get to. Happiness is sitting on a bench beside a babbling stream thinking about nothing more than the sun shining on your head. Happiness is sitting in a room with friends while someone performs music that they love . . . You might not "get" the music but if you pay close attention to the person, you will see that they love it and love presenting it to you.
Happiness is something I decided to choose this morning, regardless of all that other crap.
Today is a better day. <3
.
Today is a better day. <3
.
Sunday, September 14, 2014
Living close to the bone
Living close to the bone has its perks . . . . I am proud to say that I have not paid rent anywhere in more than four years. Now while the Doug of my youth would chime in and tell me that I'm a failure due to the fact that I'm essentially "Living in a van down by the river" (cue Chris Farley clip), the Doug of now proudly stands, chest out and proclaims that fact for the world to hear.
I remember sitting in the mobile home I lived in in Quesnel (the second to last place I rented), thinking about moving and not wanting to deal with all of the boxes and boxes of things that seemed to inhabit every corner of that space. I had heard of a rule some people employ with regard to such boxes: If you have not looked in it for 6 months, give it away (or throw it out). I didn't take that hard line, it was too much of a commitment, but what I did do was have the first (and last), Doug is moving and doesn't want to move all his shit so come and get you some sale/event . . . . And make a donation if you're so inclined. What resulted was the most amazing thing. I actually got rid of a LOT of crap, spread a TON of good will and made a decent amount of money in the process. In the end I still ended up taking a LOT of things to the share shed but many things found their way to new homes and productive lives with new owners.
What changed from when I accumulated all of those things to when I gave them all away was my perception of the things and their role in my life. I had been taught that things embody the spirit of the person who gave them to me and that in order to be respectful to those persons, and their memory, I had to always keep the things. It was not an easy transition but I came to believe that the things are just things and regardless of who they came from that fact was never going to change. It made it easy to let things go.
Fast forward to Sunday, September 14, 2014 and almost everything I own now lives in my 1998 GMC Safari. The only things not in there at the moment are a box full of quilts that live at my moms place, and a couple of quilts that are semi-permanently housed with my dear friend Janice (mom is a prolific quilter).
I still have a few things to weed out but for the most part I am happy with the amount of stuff I own. My one weakness seems to be t-shirts. I think I must have about thirty to forty of them and whenever I think about getting rid of some I am quickly able to justify keeping them (you never know when you're going to need a bunch of t-shirts).
What has also evolved is my feelings about ownership of things. I possess a van full of things that I use, mostly, in my day-to-day life. Do I own them? Or am I just the caretaker of them for now? I don't know. I think that as a culture, we tend to spend a lot of time worrying about what's ours. We spend our money on things like homes and cars and then we engage in making sure they don't get stolen or damaged. We draw lines . . . . Lines between us and them, them being anyone who would take our things from us. In a time when those lines result in an ever-increasing amount of violence on a global scale I'm not sure I want to hold lines like that.
I honestly feel as of right now that if someone were to break into my van and steal everything I own that I would be alright about it. I mean it might be a challenge to figure out how to keep making music but eventually I would be okay. As it stands my record for getting through the day is 100% so I'm not too worried about it. That's not an open invitation for anyone to come and take whatever they want, I would prefer to keep the few things that I have but I feel like if you want something that I have and are willing to put your intention behind taking it from me then there's little I can do to change that and worrying about it just doesn't seem to make a lot of sense.
So you might be asking: what's the perk Doug? It's freedom! Freedom from worrying about any of that . . . it helps keep my mind on what I'm meant to be doing which is sharing the gifts I have been given.
Live in love
Doug xoxo
.
I remember sitting in the mobile home I lived in in Quesnel (the second to last place I rented), thinking about moving and not wanting to deal with all of the boxes and boxes of things that seemed to inhabit every corner of that space. I had heard of a rule some people employ with regard to such boxes: If you have not looked in it for 6 months, give it away (or throw it out). I didn't take that hard line, it was too much of a commitment, but what I did do was have the first (and last), Doug is moving and doesn't want to move all his shit so come and get you some sale/event . . . . And make a donation if you're so inclined. What resulted was the most amazing thing. I actually got rid of a LOT of crap, spread a TON of good will and made a decent amount of money in the process. In the end I still ended up taking a LOT of things to the share shed but many things found their way to new homes and productive lives with new owners.
What changed from when I accumulated all of those things to when I gave them all away was my perception of the things and their role in my life. I had been taught that things embody the spirit of the person who gave them to me and that in order to be respectful to those persons, and their memory, I had to always keep the things. It was not an easy transition but I came to believe that the things are just things and regardless of who they came from that fact was never going to change. It made it easy to let things go.
Fast forward to Sunday, September 14, 2014 and almost everything I own now lives in my 1998 GMC Safari. The only things not in there at the moment are a box full of quilts that live at my moms place, and a couple of quilts that are semi-permanently housed with my dear friend Janice (mom is a prolific quilter).
I still have a few things to weed out but for the most part I am happy with the amount of stuff I own. My one weakness seems to be t-shirts. I think I must have about thirty to forty of them and whenever I think about getting rid of some I am quickly able to justify keeping them (you never know when you're going to need a bunch of t-shirts).
What has also evolved is my feelings about ownership of things. I possess a van full of things that I use, mostly, in my day-to-day life. Do I own them? Or am I just the caretaker of them for now? I don't know. I think that as a culture, we tend to spend a lot of time worrying about what's ours. We spend our money on things like homes and cars and then we engage in making sure they don't get stolen or damaged. We draw lines . . . . Lines between us and them, them being anyone who would take our things from us. In a time when those lines result in an ever-increasing amount of violence on a global scale I'm not sure I want to hold lines like that.
I honestly feel as of right now that if someone were to break into my van and steal everything I own that I would be alright about it. I mean it might be a challenge to figure out how to keep making music but eventually I would be okay. As it stands my record for getting through the day is 100% so I'm not too worried about it. That's not an open invitation for anyone to come and take whatever they want, I would prefer to keep the few things that I have but I feel like if you want something that I have and are willing to put your intention behind taking it from me then there's little I can do to change that and worrying about it just doesn't seem to make a lot of sense.
So you might be asking: what's the perk Doug? It's freedom! Freedom from worrying about any of that . . . it helps keep my mind on what I'm meant to be doing which is sharing the gifts I have been given.
Live in love
Doug xoxo
.
Friday, September 12, 2014
This is also going to be a place where I can open up.
I love my life.
I spend most days thinking about music and the beautiful people that I encounter as I go about making a life in music. Each day seems to bring back to me some of the loving vibration that I have been sending out since I awoke a few years ago but it's far from perfect. . . . This is going to be a bit of a rant . . . :)
There are days when I don't have enough fuel for my van to do anything but sit and work on ways of making some. I want to live in a world where things like that are provided for people who are doing what they are meant to do. A world where rather than having to sit in the woods for two days because I don't have the money for insurance until the next show (which is two days hence), I can focus on the art and not have to worry about the details of getting around.
I don't expect a free ride, that's not what this is about. I just want to be able to do what I do because I know it's right and I can see the positive results of what I'm doing.
It's actually one of the strangest dichotomies I experience. On one hand I go to music festivals and make amazing connections with beautiful people who I love, and who love me. Every weekend seems to be full of people having profound experiences in my presence. People tell me how amazing they think I am and how much they love what I'm doing and that's great . . . Then I get to the merch booth at the end of the weekend and pick up the $23 that two people have left there for me (that's two cds and a sticker).
I understand that my music is very different, but you said you loved it . . . .
I do everything I can to support people who I know who are working hard to make a life in the arts because I think that's important. I repost shows and share things directly with people who I think might be interested. I go to shows when I can, and pay full price to get in (I really don't expect a free ride), and I clap the loudest and the longest when I'm there. I talk to people about artists that I love, hoping that they will love them too. I tell people how much I loved their set, not because I have to but rather because I really loved their set.
I don't mean to gripe but I have to get this out. I really do love this but when I'm down to eating peanut butter and crackers and waiting for a week for a show so I can put a little fuel in my van I get a little frustrated. Your good will is appreciated but does not get me any further down the road.
I really do love this life . . . . I know you can tell that I do, I wear it on my face. As I said, I'm not looking for a free ride. I am willing to give all that I am, all that I can. I just don't know how long I can keep doing this without your support. I have skills that will allow me to become employed by someone again but it's the LAST thing I want to do. It will suck the soul out of my art.
Does that sound like something you want to be a part of? . . . The support I mean. . . .
Here's what you can do:
Come out to a show. I have one coming up in Vancouver at the end of the month with my divine friend Shelder the Electric Clamfish (https://www.facebook.com/events/1503182839925517) and another in Prince George on October 12 (details announced soon).
Go out to another show. Building the idea of going to a show instead of sitting on the couch or computer will eventually benefit all of us.
Buy a CD from an independent touring artist. Many people say "that will help us get down the road", and they mean it. Sometimes it's the difference between moving along and sitting still trying to come up with fuel. You can pay what you want for mine on Bandcamp at: https://dougkoyama.bandcamp.com/music
Tell your friends about shows when they come around, make plans to go with a bunch of them. Music is the universal language and live music is the most compelling form. Go ahead, engage in it with your peers.
Print a poster for your friend who lives far away and has no way to do it. When someone is coming to your town ask them if you can print and put up some posters for them. It will help more than you can know.
Make some music yourself . . . . It's healing, like medicine . . .
ENGAGE IN THE MUSIC COMMUNITY . . . . It's the most amazing, diverse, magical thing to have access to live music . . . If you don't support it, it will go away and you'll be left listening to the same old crap on the radio.
I spend most days thinking about music and the beautiful people that I encounter as I go about making a life in music. Each day seems to bring back to me some of the loving vibration that I have been sending out since I awoke a few years ago but it's far from perfect. . . . This is going to be a bit of a rant . . . :)
There are days when I don't have enough fuel for my van to do anything but sit and work on ways of making some. I want to live in a world where things like that are provided for people who are doing what they are meant to do. A world where rather than having to sit in the woods for two days because I don't have the money for insurance until the next show (which is two days hence), I can focus on the art and not have to worry about the details of getting around.
I don't expect a free ride, that's not what this is about. I just want to be able to do what I do because I know it's right and I can see the positive results of what I'm doing.
It's actually one of the strangest dichotomies I experience. On one hand I go to music festivals and make amazing connections with beautiful people who I love, and who love me. Every weekend seems to be full of people having profound experiences in my presence. People tell me how amazing they think I am and how much they love what I'm doing and that's great . . . Then I get to the merch booth at the end of the weekend and pick up the $23 that two people have left there for me (that's two cds and a sticker).
I understand that my music is very different, but you said you loved it . . . .
I do everything I can to support people who I know who are working hard to make a life in the arts because I think that's important. I repost shows and share things directly with people who I think might be interested. I go to shows when I can, and pay full price to get in (I really don't expect a free ride), and I clap the loudest and the longest when I'm there. I talk to people about artists that I love, hoping that they will love them too. I tell people how much I loved their set, not because I have to but rather because I really loved their set.
I don't mean to gripe but I have to get this out. I really do love this but when I'm down to eating peanut butter and crackers and waiting for a week for a show so I can put a little fuel in my van I get a little frustrated. Your good will is appreciated but does not get me any further down the road.
I really do love this life . . . . I know you can tell that I do, I wear it on my face. As I said, I'm not looking for a free ride. I am willing to give all that I am, all that I can. I just don't know how long I can keep doing this without your support. I have skills that will allow me to become employed by someone again but it's the LAST thing I want to do. It will suck the soul out of my art.
Does that sound like something you want to be a part of? . . . The support I mean. . . .
Here's what you can do:
Come out to a show. I have one coming up in Vancouver at the end of the month with my divine friend Shelder the Electric Clamfish (https://www.facebook.com/events/1503182839925517) and another in Prince George on October 12 (details announced soon).
Go out to another show. Building the idea of going to a show instead of sitting on the couch or computer will eventually benefit all of us.
Buy a CD from an independent touring artist. Many people say "that will help us get down the road", and they mean it. Sometimes it's the difference between moving along and sitting still trying to come up with fuel. You can pay what you want for mine on Bandcamp at: https://dougkoyama.bandcamp.com/music
Tell your friends about shows when they come around, make plans to go with a bunch of them. Music is the universal language and live music is the most compelling form. Go ahead, engage in it with your peers.
Print a poster for your friend who lives far away and has no way to do it. When someone is coming to your town ask them if you can print and put up some posters for them. It will help more than you can know.
Make some music yourself . . . . It's healing, like medicine . . .
ENGAGE IN THE MUSIC COMMUNITY . . . . It's the most amazing, diverse, magical thing to have access to live music . . . If you don't support it, it will go away and you'll be left listening to the same old crap on the radio.
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