The universe is kind, abundant and benevolent.

I'm finding it easier and easier to get along in the world.

The other day on the second of my two days off, I spent the day doing festival applications and hanging out in park with some friends. Tuesday I went back to work, a four day week this week because the TV show "You've got to eat here" is shooting at a closed Nuba today, Friday, (Nuba is the Lebanese restaurant in Kitsilano that was the first one from Craigslist that I applied to a couple of weeks ago). Saturday is going to be fun . . . They shoot all the kitchen stuff one day in a closed restaurant and then a second day in an open restaurant. Saturday is going to be really busy.

www.nuba.ca

I really like it there and it likes me. After only a few weeks I feel welcomed and comfortable in this new workplace. I think the fact that I'm not some punk dude with a chip on his shoulder anymore helps a lot. When I worked in restaurants before I was arrogant and self-entitled and really didn't do as much as I could have for the people I worked for. I was lazy and it was always a struggle.

Money has always been fleeting with me, it comes and goes with great fluidity and in that old world it was hard to make it work. I was always borrowing money to get to payday, living just beyond my means. I was generally happy but my life was full of the stress of failure. I was literally two paychecks away from being homeless all the time. 

I think the stress of that was making me old too. I had mostly resigned myself to a life of servitude. I spent each work day longing for the end of the day so I could relax and rest. I spent the endless week just waiting for the weekend when I could recreate and play and I spent the work-year saving and scrimping to be able to maybe take a holiday at the end, more often not. And when I did get to the promised land and could rest/play/vacation I would spend all that time running around like an idiot. So much so that it was a rest to be able to back to work. My life was one where I was never "in" a state of complete bliss, always chasing it. 

That all started to change one day in October of 2005 when my daughter Pharoah asked if we could go out and audition for a production of the musical "Oliver" at Kersley Music Theatre (KMT), just south of Quesnel. We went, we were both cast, I got to play Mr. Bumble again and KMT saved my life. I readily admit that at that point in my life, after the dissolution of my marriage, I was in a pit of despair. I was an unhappy, empty shell of a man and sinking fast. 

Kersley Musical Theatre taught me, among many things, that when you say YES, things happen, when you say NO, things specifically stop. I decided I wanted things to happen and started saying YES! It changed my life, it opened me up to the abundance of this place and it set me on a path that served me, instead of killing me.

Back to now . . .  I'm camping in my van, which is really comfortable, in my dear friend Josh's driveway on East 12th near Fraser. I throw in a little money and have access to the kitchen, bathroom and internet. Josh has been a kind and gracious host. On December 15 I'll move into a sublet for $425 a month (all in), where there are two friends living already. My job pays enough to cover that and more. I'm going to spend the winter saving a little money, using some to pay back a few people I owe and going out to music as much as I can. 

Work has even been really good about giving me time off over the winter to attend a couple of big out-of-town gigs I have in the works. 

Life is good . . . . 

The irony is that if I looked at where I am now from where I was then I would probably think I was a failure . . .  living in a van in someone's driveway?? . . . 

I'm grateful for the shift that occurred in me that allows this to work.

Live in Love <3





Doug